Shake Pessimism Off

It's so easy to be happy when things are going well in your life. But it's much easier to be negative when life gets challenging. While there are those who are gifted with optimism, not everyone is as blessed. I, for one, have always struggled with maintaining a positive outlook when things get a bit rough. Changing my mindset during trying times always calls for deliberate effort on my part.

I remember when I was younger I posted a motivational quote in my room that reads: "Life is a matter of perspective. It's either you complain because roses have thorns or you rejoice because thorns have roses." Posting the quote and wanting to live by optimism weren't enough to stop me from complaining about the thorns. Often, I unconsciously, almost automatically, worry when something doesn't go the way I want it.

Stamped Stars in Law School

XT, my youngest nephew, started going to school. Everyday when he arrives home, he would always showoff the stamped stars on his hands signifying that he was well-behaved or had performed good in class. And he feels sad on days that he didn't receive a star. It has been a practice in kindergarten to motivate students and reinforce good behaviors by stamping stars or giving them ribbons and the like. This practice is the application of psychological theory particularly the operant conditioning.

Tiptoeing in Law School

It's been a long while. I've been busy pretending to be a diligent law student. Returning to law school after a year out has been tough. Really tough. To be honest, I'm still not back in my best foot even after a semester since my return.

Last semester was such a struggle and sadly I was on the losing end. There were nights when I easily give in to sleep's call even when I'm supposed to be studying. There were times when I'd go to class without reading the assignment and would just pray not to be called in recitations. There were also days when I would open my book and stare at a page for an hour without actually reading anything. When I try to study, the walls and the ceiling suddenly become interesting to look at; even cleaning my room turns out  to be an appealing task. But the worst was when I didn't study for the final exams of two of my subjects. I'm not the most diligent student in college but I've always exerted effort for my exams. It was horrible, especially for my guilt. "What's happening to me?," was a constant question I asked myself. I missed the Maris who endures sleepless nights just to ace her exams; I missed her determination and persistence. Maybe I was still half-hearted contrary to my promise that I'd embrace everything willingly.

Note to Self

Just embrace the challenges and disappointments, openly and willingly. No more complaints; no more reliance on luck; no more laid-back attitude; no more excuses. Commit to and act on your goals. 

In the end, you shall overcome!

Lesson Learned from Prof. Snape

As I checked my Facebook account, I saw a post of a Harry Potter page, wishing Snape a happy birthday. Severus Snape, I believe, is a character of the Harry Potter series that readers like myself hated and then loved. J.K. Rowling had masterfully written the books.

Snape, the villain I loathed and the hero whose death I mourned. 

The twists were intelligently plotted that's why she surprised us with the revelation in the 7th and last installment of Snape's sacrifices. Snape appeared as a deceitful, cunning character who loathed Harry for being his father's son and who betrayed Dumbledore's trust. But in the end, we discovered that right from the very beginning, Snape did all that he could to protect Harry out of his love for Lily, Harry's mother.

Reassurance Against Fear and Despair

Tonight's one of those nights when I can't move on from a recitation. The regret of not being able to remember something you've studied, the blame you put on your shoulder for not studying harder, the desire to go back in time and change the circumstances - these are the feelings that's been bugging me after my class earlier. In fact, these feelings have been my mind's tenants since my return in law school.  I badly want to expel them because they prevent me from focusing on studying for my subjects tomorrow, which also require my attention.