Reassurance Against Fear and Despair

Tonight's one of those nights when I can't move on from a recitation. The regret of not being able to remember something you've studied, the blame you put on your shoulder for not studying harder, the desire to go back in time and change the circumstances - these are the feelings that's been bugging me after my class earlier. In fact, these feelings have been my mind's tenants since my return in law school.  I badly want to expel them because they prevent me from focusing on studying for my subjects tomorrow, which also require my attention.

These feelings are aggravated by the pressure of the upcoming midterm exams. My backlogs in all my subjects have piled up and I honestly don't know how I could possibly cover everything, or cover enough to help me to at least pass my midterm exams.

I'm scared, lost, almost hopeless. But before I wallow in a pit of depression, God (as what He always does) saved me. He reminded me of a beautiful verse from the book of Joshua that has struck me:
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)
After being reminded of the passage, my fear was still there. Uncertainties scare me. I think we all are afraid of the future and of what it might bring upon us. But the words of God accompanied my fear with assurance. He promised that He will be with us wherever we go and I'm certain that the Father is consistent in fulfilling His promises.

The journey that Joshua had to face years ago is so different with my journey in law school. The only similarity is that it was God's will that brought us in our respective journeys. I decided in October 2012 that Law is not for me but God, through the events and people He allowed in my life, led me back to the legal sphere. I know He has a plan for me, a plan greater than my own existence. I can't allow my fear become my courage's master, it should be the other way around. 

**Heavenly Father, I'm so sorry for being weak, for allowing my fears and disappointments get the best of me. Thank you for always being there for me although my weaknesses make me unworthy of Your unconditional love. I offer my life and goals to You, Oh God. Use me as You will, let Your plans unfold, help me put my complete trust in You and Your promise, please allow my fears feed my strength. Amen. 

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