For My Soul Sister

You are the mirror of my soul. Thank you for being the kind of person you are.

Your friendship assures me that beauty remains on Earth.

Your ability to see people through the spark in their eyes, glow of their smiles, and firmness of their steps taught me to see beyond superficial facades.
Your habit of introspection has encouraged me to delve into self-discovery and entertain thought-provoking ideas.

Karma

When things get out of your control, you just have to hope that the universe would someday connect the dots and give people what they deserve.

Pagluwas

Ni Maris Gabornes

Ano nga ba ang mayroon sa ciudad?

Lumuwas sila para raw umunlad.

Mas maginhawa naman sa probinsya.

Simple, kaunti ang kakompetensya.

Nakabaling sa Iba

Ni Maris Gabornes

Ngayo’y nakaupo sa permanente kong upuan

Tumitingin sa gurong nakatayo sa harapan

Subalit ‘di nakikinig sa kanyang tinuturan

Sapagkat ang aking isip ay nalipad kung saan

Para sa Pinakadakilang Ina

Ni Maris Gabornes

Dalawang kamay sa aki'y nag-aruga,

Sadyang walang kapantay na pagkalinga.

Nang bata pa'y pinagtitimpla ng gatas,

Pinatatahan naman 'pag umiiyak ng malakas.

Gumabay sa daan ko'y dalawang paa

Kaya't alam ko ang mali sa tama.

Handa siyang matinik kasama ko;

Lagi siyang para sa akin nagsasakripisyo.

Gratitude Post

I've read somewhere that having a gratitude jar where you put all the things you're grateful for each day is a way of living a happier life. In substitution of that jar, I'm making this post as my own version of thanking life. Hopefully, updating this post from this day onward would help uplift my spirit during stressful times and remind me of how blessed I truly am.

All is Well

Find comfort in knowing how much you've grown.
You are on the right path.
Things are unfolding as they should.
Trust your journey.

Shake Pessimism Off

It's so easy to be happy when things are going well in your life. But it's much easier to be negative when life gets challenging. While there are those who are gifted with optimism, not everyone is as blessed. I, for one, have always struggled with maintaining a positive outlook when things get a bit rough. Changing my mindset during trying times always calls for deliberate effort on my part.

I remember when I was younger I posted a motivational quote in my room that reads: "Life is a matter of perspective. It's either you complain because roses have thorns or you rejoice because thorns have roses." Posting the quote and wanting to live by optimism weren't enough to stop me from complaining about the thorns. Often, I unconsciously, almost automatically, worry when something doesn't go the way I want it.

Stamped Stars in Law School

XT, my youngest nephew, started going to school. Everyday when he arrives home, he would always showoff the stamped stars on his hands signifying that he was well-behaved or had performed good in class. And he feels sad on days that he didn't receive a star. It has been a practice in kindergarten to motivate students and reinforce good behaviors by stamping stars or giving them ribbons and the like. This practice is the application of psychological theory particularly the operant conditioning.

Tiptoeing in Law School

It's been a long while. I've been busy pretending to be a diligent law student. Returning to law school after a year out has been tough. Really tough. To be honest, I'm still not back in my best foot even after a semester since my return.

Last semester was such a struggle and sadly I was on the losing end. There were nights when I easily give in to sleep's call even when I'm supposed to be studying. There were times when I'd go to class without reading the assignment and would just pray not to be called in recitations. There were also days when I would open my book and stare at a page for an hour without actually reading anything. When I try to study, the walls and the ceiling suddenly become interesting to look at; even cleaning my room turns out  to be an appealing task. But the worst was when I didn't study for the final exams of two of my subjects. I'm not the most diligent student in college but I've always exerted effort for my exams. It was horrible, especially for my guilt. "What's happening to me?," was a constant question I asked myself. I missed the Maris who endures sleepless nights just to ace her exams; I missed her determination and persistence. Maybe I was still half-hearted contrary to my promise that I'd embrace everything willingly.

Note to Self

Just embrace the challenges and disappointments, openly and willingly. No more complaints; no more reliance on luck; no more laid-back attitude; no more excuses. Commit to and act on your goals. 

In the end, you shall overcome!

Lesson Learned from Prof. Snape

As I checked my Facebook account, I saw a post of a Harry Potter page, wishing Snape a happy birthday. Severus Snape, I believe, is a character of the Harry Potter series that readers like myself hated and then loved. J.K. Rowling had masterfully written the books.

Snape, the villain I loathed and the hero whose death I mourned. 

The twists were intelligently plotted that's why she surprised us with the revelation in the 7th and last installment of Snape's sacrifices. Snape appeared as a deceitful, cunning character who loathed Harry for being his father's son and who betrayed Dumbledore's trust. But in the end, we discovered that right from the very beginning, Snape did all that he could to protect Harry out of his love for Lily, Harry's mother.

Reassurance Against Fear and Despair

Tonight's one of those nights when I can't move on from a recitation. The regret of not being able to remember something you've studied, the blame you put on your shoulder for not studying harder, the desire to go back in time and change the circumstances - these are the feelings that's been bugging me after my class earlier. In fact, these feelings have been my mind's tenants since my return in law school.  I badly want to expel them because they prevent me from focusing on studying for my subjects tomorrow, which also require my attention.

Officially a Rettorney!

I'll let you in on a little secret. I went back to law school. Today, I'm now officially enrolled. Sshhhhhhhh... I didn't tell everyone. Only my family, a few of my friends and law school buddies know about it.

After the May 2013 election, I made up my mind that I was going to go back. But I also decided that I would transfer to another campus. Deciding to quit law school was hard and deciding to return was even harder. I had to swallow everything I've said when I left. So, I wanted a new environment and a new set of people. It's my own way of starting with a clean slate (Although, I know that it's not a clean slate. After all, all our actions and decisions in the past have consequences that we can never escape.).

Trust after Yolanda

I'm scared and worried to death just like everyone who has relatives in Samar and Leyte. I feel helpless. Today's the third day that we haven't heard from our family in Lawaan, Eastern Samar. Our last update was from a news report in ABS-CBN, which said that there are 10 confirmed dead from our town. It's a shocking news! Although we were worried, somehow we were still hopeful that our town and kababayans are safe. We never expected any casualties.

A Shoutout to Reporters and News Staff

As super typhoon Yolanda hit the Philippine Area of Responsibility, it had done a lot of damage to different provinces. We were so worried at home because we can't contact our family and friends from Easter Samar, Tacloban and other parts of Leyte. We last heard from our mom at 5 in the morning, just after Yolanda's landfall at Guiuan. She told us that things were alright in Lawaan and everybody was fine but after that phone call, we failed to contact her or anyone in Samar and Leyte anymore. Even TV and radio broadcasting networks lost communication with their reporters as a result of the typhoon.

Samar and Leyte were virtually isolated from the rest of the Philippines during the onslaught of Yolanda. The absence of any update kept speculations and uneasiness in the air. A lot of people who have relatives from the said places were expressing their frustration on social networking sites. We were all dying to get hold of any information.

Balagtasan

August is the Buwan ng Wika or month of language in the Philippines. Activities that are directed to a deeper appreciation for the Filipino language are held around the country. The most fun events happen in schools. The Department of Education determines the theme each year. The students' works (i.e. essays, posters, poems) should be relevant to the theme in order to win in whatever category they decide to join.

When I was a kid, the essay-writing and slogan-making competitions were my favorite activities. (It was through winning my school's first Filipino essay writing and slogan making competitions that my appreciation for writing began.) I also enjoyed performing Filipino folk dances like Tinikling and Cariñosa. I'm not a good dancer but we were required to participate back then and rehearsals offered great bonding time with my classmates.

Is This the End for 'Us'?

I'm pretty sure we almost broke up last night, as Taylor Swift sings. And I also could have thrown my phone at him if he was in my front. Luckily, he wasn't. My phone's safe, so is his pretty face.

He's been doing an excellent job ignoring me lately. Hopefully, an unconscious act on his part. He's been making me feel taken for granted and insignificant. Just the things I fear finding their way into reality (Utter ugh, I know!).

All signs -- everything that he's doing or (more appropriately) not doing -- are telling me that it would be wisest to end the relationship while it's still in the early stage before I become more emotionally involved.

Letting Go of Fears

I realized that in order to let go of my fears, I must have the courage to admit them. Not acknowledging them is like denying their existence. So here's to hoping that this fear which had been bothering me for quite some time will disappear...

My greatest fear is not to matter to people who matter to me the most. I'm scared of being insignificant to them.

Lesson Learned from Planning

Planning is a big part of my life. I have the habit of carefully scheduling things - proper timing to be in a relationship, the right age to get married, have kids, retire, finish grad school... I plan just about every detail of my life, even my daily routines!

There's comfort I find in planning. Probably the feeling of being in control and organized.