Five days in law school and I already found myself crying in hopelessness. Right from the start, I knew that it would be hard. Before classes started, I tried to prepare myself emotionally. I actually thought that I succeeded. But obviously I didn't. This is the first challenge I faced in law school -
I was like a soldier who was well-equipped for battle but when the war started, came running away from where the action is. I hate to admit this but I felt INADEQUATE. Law school demands a lot of time, effort and diligence. I am not used with the kind of hardwork that law school entails.
In my undergraduate studies, I don't study except during major examinations. I don't have a study habit and I treat attending classes as an obligation that I'd rather not do. See, I am not a diligent student but I still do alright in our class. I even graduated college with Latin Honors. However, Law school is a lot different. Unlike in college, it requires you to read, understand and allot most of your time in studying. The bad part is even if you've already read and studied, it's just NOT ENOUGH. I felt really bad when after reading and rereading my books a couple of times, I still can't get to remember and understand what I've read. Surviving law school would require persistence, patience and faith.
I am a very pessimistic person. I over-think things. I worry a lot. I don't believe in my own abilities. I cry when I could just shrug off my worries. BUT all these are bit by bit disappearing. Law school has its way of changing people. It's transforming me into a more diligent and responsible person. Although there are times that I go off track and act the same way I do in college, I always bounce back. ALWAYS... Negative thoughts still visit me once in a while and laziness keeps on haunting me. But, I tell you, I will always find my way back to the path of my dreams. I'm sure that I will not stop from complaining (it's part of who I am) BUT this is what I'm certain of, I will NEVER QUIT.
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