Letting Go of Fears

I realized that in order to let go of my fears, I must have the courage to admit them. Not acknowledging them is like denying their existence. So here's to hoping that this fear which had been bothering me for quite some time will disappear...

My greatest fear is not to matter to people who matter to me the most. I'm scared of being insignificant to them.

I'm the type of person who invest much emotions and effort on my relationships. I'm willing to give my attention, resources and time, to sacrifice, and to understand people I care for (sometimes at the expense of my own feelings). Because I'm willing to give 101% of myself, I end up expecting people to do the same for me. And it scares me that they won't be able to do that. To prevent being disappointed, I built walls around me and placed my deepest emotions in a safe far from people's reach. I carefully select those I allow into my walls as a way of protecting myself from getting hurt.

Now, someone special is succeeding in making the walls I've built collapse one by one. The more I'm opening myself to him, the more I feel vulnerable. And I hate that! It scares me. Vulnerability is something I avoid but it's inevitable. Like what the wise men always say, pain is part of love. The fear of pain is what makes love a scary venture but it's also what makes it special. Embracing love despite the fears and doubts, for me, is a risky, risky decision BUT the ability to do that is a magical occurrence.

Guess what, I'm deciding to take the risk now because the hopeless romantic in me is hopeful that this is the real deal.

I am letting go of my fears and doubts now. I'm fully entrusting my heart to him. Whatever is in store for us, I know I'll be brave enough to deal with them. I'm done allowing my fears ruin my chances of being happy.

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