I'll let you in on a little secret. I went back to law school. Today, I'm now officially enrolled. Sshhhhhhhh... I didn't tell everyone. Only my family, a few of my friends and law school buddies know about it.
After the May 2013 election, I made up my mind that I was going to go back. But I also decided that I would transfer to another campus. Deciding to quit law school was hard and deciding to return was even harder. I had to swallow everything I've said when I left. So, I wanted a new environment and a new set of people. It's my own way of starting with a clean slate (Although, I know that it's not a clean slate. After all, all our actions and decisions in the past have consequences that we can never escape.).
I wanted to feel confident that law school would be easier this time. But the truth is, I'm scared. Even more scared than I was in my first attempt. The stakes are higher now. I can't quit anymore. My reasons for continuing might not be my ideal reasons. And the reasons why I left are still true but I found a strong motivation to continue - my family.
My decision to leave law school was the most selfish decision I've made in my life. I'd be lying if I say that it didn't make me happy because it did. It was relieving and liberating to follow what I wanted and disregard other people's opinions. I enjoyed being selfish! But after the election, I realized that Sir Talde and Papa were right when they told me that there is a special kind of joy from sacrificing your own comforts and happiness for the people you love.
Certain sacrifices for the common good of one's family are inevitable. For instance, we never asked Papa what he wanted to do in his life. He spends 8-12 months on the ship every year just to provide for us. He never complained. Never. Nobody asked him if his job makes him happy. For all I know, he sacrificed his own dream just to see our dreams transpire.
My parents were very supportive when I told them last year that I'd be quitting law school. I know how much they wanted me to pursue it but they never forced me to go back. The decision to go back is of my own accord. I'm doing it for my family. I'd stop looking at it as a sacrifice and instead view it as an opportunity to contribute to the family that has done nothing but nurture and love me. I'd also try my best to not complain anymore (hahaha).
I hope that law school would be better the second time around. But come on, who am I kidding? Of course, it won't be! But one thing is certain. I AM GOING TO BE BETTER AND MORE DETERMINED THIS TIME. I made the decision and I'm going to stick to it until the end, NO MATTER WHAT.
After the May 2013 election, I made up my mind that I was going to go back. But I also decided that I would transfer to another campus. Deciding to quit law school was hard and deciding to return was even harder. I had to swallow everything I've said when I left. So, I wanted a new environment and a new set of people. It's my own way of starting with a clean slate (Although, I know that it's not a clean slate. After all, all our actions and decisions in the past have consequences that we can never escape.).
I wanted to feel confident that law school would be easier this time. But the truth is, I'm scared. Even more scared than I was in my first attempt. The stakes are higher now. I can't quit anymore. My reasons for continuing might not be my ideal reasons. And the reasons why I left are still true but I found a strong motivation to continue - my family.
My decision to leave law school was the most selfish decision I've made in my life. I'd be lying if I say that it didn't make me happy because it did. It was relieving and liberating to follow what I wanted and disregard other people's opinions. I enjoyed being selfish! But after the election, I realized that Sir Talde and Papa were right when they told me that there is a special kind of joy from sacrificing your own comforts and happiness for the people you love.
Certain sacrifices for the common good of one's family are inevitable. For instance, we never asked Papa what he wanted to do in his life. He spends 8-12 months on the ship every year just to provide for us. He never complained. Never. Nobody asked him if his job makes him happy. For all I know, he sacrificed his own dream just to see our dreams transpire.
My parents were very supportive when I told them last year that I'd be quitting law school. I know how much they wanted me to pursue it but they never forced me to go back. The decision to go back is of my own accord. I'm doing it for my family. I'd stop looking at it as a sacrifice and instead view it as an opportunity to contribute to the family that has done nothing but nurture and love me. I'd also try my best to not complain anymore (hahaha).
I hope that law school would be better the second time around. But come on, who am I kidding? Of course, it won't be! But one thing is certain. I AM GOING TO BE BETTER AND MORE DETERMINED THIS TIME. I made the decision and I'm going to stick to it until the end, NO MATTER WHAT.
I am on that point of my life that I get really indecisive whether to pursue law school or not. I am one of those people who read blogs about personal experiences because I myself also fear the challenges of law school and I want to learn through the experience of others. I already read your blog about quitting law school and I was like, "Oh, she really has a point. So maybe I won't go to law school." But, I went thru this blog and I was amazed of the courage and humility you've shown. Really inspiring. I will wait for your next update. God bless, Attorney!
ReplyDeleteI wish you would post again!! 💖
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