It's been a long while. I've been busy pretending to be a diligent law student. Returning to law school after a year out has been tough. Really tough. To be honest, I'm still not back in my best foot even after a semester since my return.
Last semester was such a struggle and sadly I was on the losing end. There were nights when I easily give in to sleep's call even when I'm supposed to be studying. There were times when I'd go to class without reading the assignment and would just pray not to be called in recitations. There were also days when I would open my book and stare at a page for an hour without actually reading anything. When I try to study, the walls and the ceiling suddenly become interesting to look at; even cleaning my room turns out to be an appealing task. But the worst was when I didn't study for the final exams of two of my subjects. I'm not the most diligent student in college but I've always exerted effort for my exams. It was horrible, especially for my guilt. "What's happening to me?," was a constant question I asked myself. I missed the Maris who endures sleepless nights just to ace her exams; I missed her determination and persistence. Maybe I was still half-hearted contrary to my promise that I'd embrace everything willingly.
Last semester was such a struggle and sadly I was on the losing end. There were nights when I easily give in to sleep's call even when I'm supposed to be studying. There were times when I'd go to class without reading the assignment and would just pray not to be called in recitations. There were also days when I would open my book and stare at a page for an hour without actually reading anything. When I try to study, the walls and the ceiling suddenly become interesting to look at; even cleaning my room turns out to be an appealing task. But the worst was when I didn't study for the final exams of two of my subjects. I'm not the most diligent student in college but I've always exerted effort for my exams. It was horrible, especially for my guilt. "What's happening to me?," was a constant question I asked myself. I missed the Maris who endures sleepless nights just to ace her exams; I missed her determination and persistence. Maybe I was still half-hearted contrary to my promise that I'd embrace everything willingly.
