XT, my youngest nephew, started going to school. Everyday when he arrives home, he would always showoff the stamped stars on his hands signifying that he was well-behaved or had performed good in class. And he feels sad on days that he didn't receive a star. It has been a practice in kindergarten to motivate students and reinforce good behaviors by stamping stars or giving them ribbons and the like. This practice is the application of psychological theory particularly the operant conditioning.
Stamped Stars in Law School
XT, my youngest nephew, started going to school. Everyday when he arrives home, he would always showoff the stamped stars on his hands signifying that he was well-behaved or had performed good in class. And he feels sad on days that he didn't receive a star. It has been a practice in kindergarten to motivate students and reinforce good behaviors by stamping stars or giving them ribbons and the like. This practice is the application of psychological theory particularly the operant conditioning.Tiptoeing in Law School
It's been a long while. I've been busy pretending to be a diligent law student. Returning to law school after a year out has been tough. Really tough. To be honest, I'm still not back in my best foot even after a semester since my return.
Last semester was such a struggle and sadly I was on the losing end. There were nights when I easily give in to sleep's call even when I'm supposed to be studying. There were times when I'd go to class without reading the assignment and would just pray not to be called in recitations. There were also days when I would open my book and stare at a page for an hour without actually reading anything. When I try to study, the walls and the ceiling suddenly become interesting to look at; even cleaning my room turns out to be an appealing task. But the worst was when I didn't study for the final exams of two of my subjects. I'm not the most diligent student in college but I've always exerted effort for my exams. It was horrible, especially for my guilt. "What's happening to me?," was a constant question I asked myself. I missed the Maris who endures sleepless nights just to ace her exams; I missed her determination and persistence. Maybe I was still half-hearted contrary to my promise that I'd embrace everything willingly.
Last semester was such a struggle and sadly I was on the losing end. There were nights when I easily give in to sleep's call even when I'm supposed to be studying. There were times when I'd go to class without reading the assignment and would just pray not to be called in recitations. There were also days when I would open my book and stare at a page for an hour without actually reading anything. When I try to study, the walls and the ceiling suddenly become interesting to look at; even cleaning my room turns out to be an appealing task. But the worst was when I didn't study for the final exams of two of my subjects. I'm not the most diligent student in college but I've always exerted effort for my exams. It was horrible, especially for my guilt. "What's happening to me?," was a constant question I asked myself. I missed the Maris who endures sleepless nights just to ace her exams; I missed her determination and persistence. Maybe I was still half-hearted contrary to my promise that I'd embrace everything willingly.
Note to Self
Just embrace the challenges and disappointments, openly and willingly. No more complaints; no more reliance on luck; no more laid-back attitude; no more excuses. Commit to and act on your goals.
In the end, you shall overcome!
Lesson Learned from Prof. Snape
As I checked my Facebook account, I saw a post of a Harry Potter page, wishing Snape a happy birthday. Severus Snape, I believe, is a character of the Harry Potter series that readers like myself hated and then loved. J.K. Rowling had masterfully written the books.
The twists were intelligently plotted that's why she surprised us with the revelation in the 7th and last installment of Snape's sacrifices. Snape appeared as a deceitful, cunning character who loathed Harry for being his father's son and who betrayed Dumbledore's trust. But in the end, we discovered that right from the very beginning, Snape did all that he could to protect Harry out of his love for Lily, Harry's mother.
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| Snape, the villain I loathed and the hero whose death I mourned. |
Reassurance Against Fear and Despair
Tonight's one of those nights when I can't move on from a recitation. The regret of not being able to remember something you've studied, the blame you put on your shoulder for not studying harder, the desire to go back in time and change the circumstances - these are the feelings that's been bugging me after my class earlier. In fact, these feelings have been my mind's tenants since my return in law school. I badly want to expel them because they prevent me from focusing on studying for my subjects tomorrow, which also require my attention.
Officially a Rettorney!
I'll let you in on a little secret. I went back to law school. Today, I'm now officially enrolled. Sshhhhhhhh... I didn't tell everyone. Only my family, a few of my friends and law school buddies know about it.
After the May 2013 election, I made up my mind that I was going to go back. But I also decided that I would transfer to another campus. Deciding to quit law school was hard and deciding to return was even harder. I had to swallow everything I've said when I left. So, I wanted a new environment and a new set of people. It's my own way of starting with a clean slate (Although, I know that it's not a clean slate. After all, all our actions and decisions in the past have consequences that we can never escape.).
After the May 2013 election, I made up my mind that I was going to go back. But I also decided that I would transfer to another campus. Deciding to quit law school was hard and deciding to return was even harder. I had to swallow everything I've said when I left. So, I wanted a new environment and a new set of people. It's my own way of starting with a clean slate (Although, I know that it's not a clean slate. After all, all our actions and decisions in the past have consequences that we can never escape.).
Trust after Yolanda
I'm scared and worried to death just like everyone who has relatives in Samar and Leyte. I feel helpless. Today's the third day that we haven't heard from our family in Lawaan, Eastern Samar. Our last update was from a news report in ABS-CBN, which said that there are 10 confirmed dead from our town. It's a shocking news! Although we were worried, somehow we were still hopeful that our town and kababayans are safe. We never expected any casualties.
A Shoutout to Reporters and News Staff
As super typhoon Yolanda hit the Philippine Area of Responsibility, it had done a lot of damage to different provinces. We were so worried at home because we can't contact our family and friends from Easter Samar, Tacloban and other parts of Leyte. We last heard from our mom at 5 in the morning, just after Yolanda's landfall at Guiuan. She told us that things were alright in Lawaan and everybody was fine but after that phone call, we failed to contact her or anyone in Samar and Leyte anymore. Even TV and radio broadcasting networks lost communication with their reporters as a result of the typhoon.
Samar and Leyte were virtually isolated from the rest of the Philippines during the onslaught of Yolanda. The absence of any update kept speculations and uneasiness in the air. A lot of people who have relatives from the said places were expressing their frustration on social networking sites. We were all dying to get hold of any information.
Samar and Leyte were virtually isolated from the rest of the Philippines during the onslaught of Yolanda. The absence of any update kept speculations and uneasiness in the air. A lot of people who have relatives from the said places were expressing their frustration on social networking sites. We were all dying to get hold of any information.
Balagtasan
August is the Buwan ng Wika or month of language in the Philippines. Activities that are directed to a deeper appreciation for the Filipino language are held around the country. The most fun events happen in schools. The Department of Education determines the theme each year. The students' works (i.e. essays, posters, poems) should be relevant to the theme in order to win in whatever category they decide to join.
When I was a kid, the essay-writing and slogan-making competitions were my favorite activities. (It was through winning my school's first Filipino essay writing and slogan making competitions that my appreciation for writing began.) I also enjoyed performing Filipino folk dances like Tinikling and Cariñosa. I'm not a good dancer but we were required to participate back then and rehearsals offered great bonding time with my classmates.
When I was a kid, the essay-writing and slogan-making competitions were my favorite activities. (It was through winning my school's first Filipino essay writing and slogan making competitions that my appreciation for writing began.) I also enjoyed performing Filipino folk dances like Tinikling and Cariñosa. I'm not a good dancer but we were required to participate back then and rehearsals offered great bonding time with my classmates.
Is This the End for 'Us'?
I'm pretty sure we almost broke up last night, as Taylor Swift sings. And I also could have thrown my phone at him if he was in my front. Luckily, he wasn't. My phone's safe, so is his pretty face.
He's been doing an excellent job ignoring me lately. Hopefully, an unconscious act on his part. He's been making me feel taken for granted and insignificant. Just the things I fear finding their way into reality (Utter ugh, I know!).
All signs -- everything that he's doing or (more appropriately) not doing -- are telling me that it would be wisest to end the relationship while it's still in the early stage before I become more emotionally involved.
He's been doing an excellent job ignoring me lately. Hopefully, an unconscious act on his part. He's been making me feel taken for granted and insignificant. Just the things I fear finding their way into reality (Utter ugh, I know!).
All signs -- everything that he's doing or (more appropriately) not doing -- are telling me that it would be wisest to end the relationship while it's still in the early stage before I become more emotionally involved.
Letting Go of Fears
I realized that in order to let go of my fears, I must have the courage to admit them. Not acknowledging them is like denying their existence. So here's to hoping that this fear which had been bothering me for quite some time will disappear...
My greatest fear is not to matter to people who matter to me the most. I'm scared of being insignificant to them.
My greatest fear is not to matter to people who matter to me the most. I'm scared of being insignificant to them.
Lesson Learned from Planning
Planning is a big part of my life. I have the habit of carefully scheduling things - proper timing to be in a relationship, the right age to get married, have kids, retire, finish grad school... I plan just about every detail of my life, even my daily routines!
There's comfort I find in planning. Probably the feeling of being in control and organized.
There's comfort I find in planning. Probably the feeling of being in control and organized.
A Thirst for RH: Rectifying Misconceptions, Setting Records Straight
Contraceptives, sex education, abortion, population control – these things automatically come to mind at the mention of the Reproductive Health (RH) Bill. Thanks to strong and vocal opposition led by the Catholic Church leaders, controversies and heated debates surrounded the bill’s ratification. Regrettably, majority of the issues raised and given focus by the media and RH critics paved the way for the real essence of the bill to be overlooked. Critics focused on the contraceptive aspect but the bill is not limited to family planning; its spirit is the attainment of holistic human development. Legislators formulated it for a crucial concern – a comprehensive and effective reproductive health policy in the Philippines is long overdue.
Job Hunting #3: Pause
My mother asked me a favor. She wants me to join her re-election campaign team for the May 13 elections. My mom is a politician, as what others refer to her job. But I like to call her a public servant. Politics in the Philippines is tainted with corruption and malpractices that it's easy for Filipinos to generalize about individuals occupying public posts. However, I can proudly tell everyone that my mom is one of the good guys. She joins the ranks of individuals who genuinely wants to serve the nation and alleviate poor conditions in her hometown.
Job Hunting #2: Passion vs. Financial Gains
It's been two weeks now since I started searching for jobs. I've sent applications to six non-governmental organizations already. My sister complains that I'm not taking this seriously. Actually, I am that's why I've been picky with selecting. I want to ensure that the jobs I apply for are things I want to do and that they promote advocacy I have passion for. I also consider the organization culture because I want to work in an environment that would not only develop me professionally but would offer a holistic growth.
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